Guardian
by NettieC
Summary: The moment she stepped off the kerb and onto the road she knew her last minute dash to pick up a replacement visa card was a mistake...and so begins the journey of Mac's life.  Luckily she has a friend to help her.


**Disclaimer: None of them are mine but the trip into the supernatural is!**

**This is a long one-shot but since Keru reminded me it's nearly Halloween I thought it was appropriate to post it. Once again it's an oldie which has had some work - this one's pretty different to all the others I've posted but I hope you enjoy it and review.  
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The moment she stepped off the kerb and onto the road she knew her last minute dash to pick up a replacement visa card was a mistake. She caught sight of the black sedan fishtailing across the road and instinctively knew that either through intent or design this car would hit her and hit her hard. She braced herself for the inevitable and everything went into slow motion.

She could see the driver's face looking as terrified as she felt. She blinked once, maybe twice and then held her breath. She heard the screech of brakes. She felt the steel grille shatter her leg before she was catapulted into the air and onto the bonnet. She felt the windscreen shatter as she struck it and felt the piercing as shards of glass penetrated her body. She saw the world around her spin as she tumbled off the car and onto the hard asphalt.

She laid there a moment or two trying to collect her thoughts.

"Well, that wasn't as bad as I thought it would be," she said to herself.

She saw the driver get out of his car and race to her. "Oh God," he shouted, colour draining from his face.

"I'm not really as bad as you'd think," she said trying to reassure him but he didn't take any notice.

"Someone call 911," he yelled standing frozen to the spot. A young woman came over and knelt down beside her.

"Hello, can you hear me?" the woman yelled at her.

"Of course I can hear you, I'm not deaf."

The woman then began touching her, feeling for something.

"She's breathing and she's got a pulse but barely," the woman reported to no one in particular.

A man in work overalls came over and laid his orange reflective jacket over her.

"Thanks but I'm not cold," said the woman on the road but no one took any notice.

So there she lay under the jacket not feeling that bad and watching a parade of strangers scurrying around her and mumbling things she couldn't quite understand.

When she heard the wailing of the paramedics approaching she gave a sigh of relief, they'd take notice of her, after all that was what they were paid to do. She saw the junior of the pair lug over the equipment bag and place it beside her.

"You look too young to be a qualified paramedic," she said but he didn't answer.

"Hello! Hello!" she shouted, "can't you hear me?!"

"She's unconscious, breathing present and pulse barely palpable," reported the junior officer.

"No I'm conscious," she yelled but they didn't acknowledge her. She yelled again and again and tried to get up but it was all to no avail. They loaded her onto the trolley and into the back of the ambulance. She chatted to them the whole way to the hospital but they never responded. "You are so rude," she said exasperated before closing her eyes and trying to ignore them.

The vehicle pulled into the ambulance bay and there was a flurry activity around her.

"Caucasian female, approximately 38 years of age…," came a disembodied voice from behind her.

"36 thanks," she corrected him.

"…result of car versus pedestrian, shattered right tib and fib, fractured patella, broken ribs, punctured lung, query head and spinal injuries."

"No, I'm not that bad, I don't feel a thing, honestly. Let me up from here and I'll prove it."

"It's no good you know, they can't hear you," said a different voice from behind her.

"Why not?" she asked. She turned her head but still couldn't see him.

"You're unconscious," came the friendly voice again.

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are."

He moved closer to her bed and she smiled. "Harm, thank God, I was starting to worry! How did you know I was here?"

"I was in the neighbourhood," he said, a familiar grin on his face.

"Huh? You were supposed to be in Pax River," Mac said, her confusion apparent.

He laughed. "Sarah MacKenzie, allow me to introduce myself…" he began.

"I know who you are! You are Harmon Rabb. Harmon Rabb Junior," she said firmly.

"Senior," he corrected.

"Ha ha, very funny, you can't be him, he's dead."

"Yes I can be and I am."

She stopped and looked at him again. She stared intently, the same jaw line, the same blue eyes, the same everything, except maybe a few years younger. Then the events of the morning began to crystallise.

"If you're d-dead…" she began nervously, "does that mean I am too?"

"No, at the moment you are in a pretty serious condition," Harm Senior reported.

"Am I going to make it?" Mac asked, scared and confused.

"It all depends," he said, walking alongside her trolley as it was wheeled down the corridor.

"On?" Mac asked, unsuccessfully trying to sit up.

"On what choice you make," Harm Senior said, patting her arm.

"I get a choice?"

"Yes you do Sarah."

The bed she was on was wheeled away and after a short trip in the elevator Mac realised she was going into the OR.

Once in the OR Mac stood up and watched in awe as an eight strong medical team worked diligently to repair her broken body. "This is not looking good," she heard the surgeon who was working on her leg comment.

"Sarah," said Harm Senior touching her arm. "We don't need to stay and watch. Let's go for a walk."

Seated on a small grassy area in the hospital quadrangle Mac found it extremely difficult to believe this wasn't her Harm before her. Her companion sensed her trouble.

"I know my son looks so much like me. We could be twins, couldn't we Sarah?" Harm Senior said, flashing the unmistakable Rabb smile.

"Aha," she nodded.

"If it makes it easier for you, you could call me Hammer instead of Harm," he offered.

"Okay Hammer it is. Hammer, can you please tell me what's going on?" Mac asked quietly.

"Well my dear, you were involved in a car accident," he said, holding onto her hand.

"I know that."

"Well, Sarah, death comes in many forms but only in a few categories," he said, squeezing her hand gently.

"Categories?" Mac asked surprised, she'd never heard of death categories before.

"Yes Sarah, there is Category A, which is your catastrophic one. For these people death is instant; massive stroke, cardiac arrest, traumatic injury like gun shot, bomb blast, car accident. Then there's Category B which is more your malfunctioning one – long term illness takes its toll on the body and the body finally gives up.

"Am I Category A?" Mac asked reluctantly.

"No, you are Category C," he said, a sad smile on his face.

"There's another category?" Mac asked, wondering how else you could die.

"It's not quite another category; it's more like a holding zone," Hammer replied.

"A holding zone for what?"

"For you to make the decision on whether you live or die."

"I don't get in, Hammer."

"Sarah, your injuries are quite severe. If the driver was going a mile or two faster we wouldn't be having this conversation, you would have been Category A, no doubt about it. As it is, there is a chance you will recover but the road back will be extremely traumatic. So you get the option," He reported, a choice he had never got.

"Just like that - I get to decide?"

"Sort of – we have a few hours while they operate for me to show you a few things and to discuss a few things, before you get to make your decision." He stood and stretched out his hand, Mac took it and they began to walk across the quadrangle.

Mac was quiet for a few moments. "Hammer, can I ask you why it's you helping me?"

"Yes you can ask because that's where we start this journey. Close your eyes," Hammer took Mac's hand and when she opened her eyes she was standing next to him in Russia in the place she and Harm had learned his fate.

"Recognise this place, Sarah?" he asked.

"Yes, it's the place you died. The place Harm finally came to terms with the fact you had gone," Mac said, tears clouding her eyes at the memory of that encounter.

"Exactly and it's the first place I saw Harm as an adult. Until he accepted my death I wasn't able to see him or to watch over him. You brought him here – you helped him to find the truth. I'm here to return the favour," Hammer said, Mac took his hand, pleased it was Hammer helping her on this journey. "So Sarah, my task is to show you the alternatives. I need to show you your options, close your eyes."

He took her hand and when her eyes were opened she was confused.

"Where are we?" she asked, scanning a golden field with a slowing moving creek trickling over large rocks.

"Don't you recognise it?" Hammer asked, studying her face.

"No, I mean it looks sort of familiar but…" her voice trailed off as she racked her brain for recognition.

"Think hard, Sarah. You're nine years old, it's fall…" he prompted.

"Patterson's Creek?!" Mac exclaimed, the two words instantly bringing a smile to her face.

"Good girl you remembered," Hammer replied, patting her arm.

"But why are we here?" Mac asked, not that she minded at all.

"This is Heaven, my dear." Hammer said proudly.

Heaven? Patterson's Creek is heaven?" Mac stared at him, she'd never heard of something so stupid.

"Yep, pretty much. Heaven is different to everybody – it's all a matter of perception. Heaven represents the place where you were happiest, where you felt safe and loved. The best place you've ever been. For you that was Patterson's Creek," he said authoritatively.

"Oh," said Mac quietly. Patterson's Creek had been her one happy memory from her childhood.

"In Heaven, Sarah, you get to spend eternity with your one true love," Hammer said, taking her arm and walking through the wheat filled field.

"You do?" Mac asked hopefully.

Hammer smiled. "Mine is Trish and I'll be waiting until she joins me. She can live to be 150 and I won't mind because I will have her forever after."

"But what about Frank?" Mac asked, happy for Hammer but worried about Frank.

"Frank, he's a great guy, isn't he?" Hammer said, genuinely pleased his beautiful widow had found someone to give her the life he couldn't.

"Yes he is – well?" she said eagerly.

"Frank's true love is Stella Stewart," he reported.

"I don't know her." Mac said the name unfamiliar to her.

"Stella and Frank were high school sweethearts who fell out over a simple misunderstanding and went their separate ways."

"But she's his true love? How do you know?"

"Stella told me. She died in a car wreck 12 years ago next spring. She's been watching over Frank and Trish for me while I watch over Harm and you," Hammer said quietly.

"Me? Why me?" Mac asked.

"You're Harm's true love."

"How do you know that?"

"A father knows. Close your eyes."

When her eyes were opened she instantly recognised the small room they were in. It was her childhood bedroom.

"This definitely isn't Heaven," she said gripping his arm tightly.

"No it's not, dear, this is the other side of the coin." Hammer said, gently placing his hand over hers.

"Hell?" she asked, in a childlike voice.

"Not quite."

"Always felt like Hell to me."

"Sarah, this is an example of how you will feel during your struggle back to life and full recovery," he explained, watching her face as she took in every aspect of the room she detested more than any other.

"I hated this place," she said quietly but with venom in each word.

"I know you did but you overcame it," he said, wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

"Yeah, I guess I did." Mac stood up a little straighter, proud of her achievement.

"And you could overcome it again," Hammer said, knowing his son's marine could do anything she set her mind to.

"I don't know if I'd have the strength to go through it again, Hammer," she said sadly.

"That's why I need to show you your options. Have you seen enough here?" he asked.

"Enough for a lifetime." Mac said, nodding her head.

"Close your eyes."

And then they were back on the grass in the quadrangle.

"So Hammer, you're saying that Heaven is perfect, that Harm is my true love and that we get to spend eternity together," Mac said, a smile finally back on her face.

"Yes I am dear," Hammer said.

"And that by choosing to live I will be faced with many, many challenges, some which I may not overcome and I will be filled with the same sort of feelings I had growing up - those same feelings that made me an alcoholic with a lot of side issues."

"Yes I am dear."

"Seems like a pretty clear cut choice, doesn't it?"

"That's up to you dear." He knew it was his job to provide the options, he was not allowed to influence the decision.

"If I choose to …well, not live, do I get to stay with you?" Mac asked biting down on her bottom lip.

"You don't have too but as we would both be watching over my son I'd say we'd be bumping into each other regularly," he said, patting her arm.

"That's good," she sighed. "I never thought I'd make it to Heaven, let alone have a friend there."

Hammer smiled. "You don't have to make your mind up this very minute, Sarah, they're still operating. Let's go for a walk and we can chat about other things. I'm sure there's lots you'd like to know about Harm."

"Indeed there is, Hammer, indeed there is."

After a while longer strolling around the grounds, Hammer took her arm. "It's time Sarah, close your eyes."

She did and when she opened them she was back in her body in the recovery room. Hammer stood alongside her bed holding her hand.

"Do I decide now?" she asked in barely a whisper.

"In a few moments."

"Okay," she said taking a deep breath. She had made her decision.

"Now Sarah, in a minute the doctor is going to come in and run a few tests. That will be the time to decide. If you are coming with me you simply get up and we will walk away, you don't look back and it's a happily ever after scenario."

Mac smiled, she liked that scenario.

"If you decide to stay you simply let go of my hand and I'll leave without you but always know I'll be watching over you and we will meet again."

Mac nodded, he made staying sound so easy but she knew it wouldn't be. Dying may be the easier option but after everything that had happened in her 36 years on earth, she reasoned she was entitled to it and she would take it.

"Hammer, I…" she began before the door swung open, she caught her breath.

"Harm!" they exclaimed in unison.

Harm moved to Mac's bed, standing opposite his father. Mac and Hammer watched him intently. He was supposed to be hours away, he shouldn't have been back before the decision was made.

Harm instinctively picked up Mac's hand and kissed it before kissing her forehead. Mac was so mesmerised by his presence she failed to see the doctor walk in behind him.

"Commander Rabb, I presume?"

"Yes, I am."

"Commander, I am Commander Douglas Stevenson. I don't know what you've been told about Colonel MacKenzie's condition."

"Only that she was in a serious but stable condition after being hit by a car." Harm returned his attention to Mac.

"Well, Commander, I'm afraid Colonel MacKenzie is in a critical and unstable condition. The surgery took far longer than anticipated due to the extreme nature of her injuries. She has experienced significant trauma to much of her body along with significant blood loss. Her vital signs are deteriorating and her prognosis is uncertain."

Mac nodded to herself, her decision to die was the right one. She would be with Harm forever and anyway she had already waited for him for nearly a decade, what would a few more matter?

"She is going to make it though, isn't she?" Harm asked the doctor, each word laced with fear.

"I'm sorry, I can't be confident that she will," the doctor said, replacing Mac's chart.

"Isn't there anything that you can do?"

"No Commander, it's all up to her now."

Hammer squeezed her hand. "It's time Sarah, time to decide?"

Mac sat up and looked behind her at her body. She noted the tubes and wires, the oxygen mask and the bandages. She looked to the right and saw the man she loved more than anything watching her with such intensity, his blue eyes clouded with fear. She knew her passing would be difficult for him but so too would her living with the horrific injuries she had sustained and obstacles that would impede a full and speedy recovery. This decision would be the best for both of them.

She looked to the left and saw his father, the same intense gaze. "Sarah, sweetheart," he whispered. "Now!"

Slowly Mac stood up beside her bed, letting go of Harm's hand. She heard the monitors instantly record her departure by their loud and insistent alarms. Hammer grasped her arm. "Come on, Sarah, don't look back."

Mac could hear the commotion behind her; she could hear the doctor barking instructions and the defibrillator being charged.

"This is the right decision," she repeated as a mantra to herself as they made their way to the door. "Shocking now – stand clear," she heard the doctor say. The noise in the room seemed almost deafening as Hammer held the door opened for her. As she went to step out she heard Harm's voice above the din.

"Mac, don't go. I love you, I need you."

She spun around.

Hammer turned with her. "Sarah, you have about fifteen seconds before your decision is made for you."

"I need to go back." Mac said, pulling him back towards the bed.

"Why?" Hammer asked, surprised she'd changed her mind.

"He loves me." Mac said, looking up at his father, joy finally replacing the pain in her chocolate eyes.

"But you'll have eternity together," Hammer reminded her.

"It won't be long enough."

She kissed his cheek, dropped his hand and ran back to the bed.

"Remarkable," said the doctor. "She's back! Vitals are good and strong. Commander, your Colonel is a fighter."

Harm smiled through his tears.

**Two days later**

"When do the doctors think she'll wake up, Harm?" asked Harriet pulling a chair up alongside his.

"When she's ready."

"And when will that be?" she asked, desperate for the details.

"They don't know – today, tomorrow, next month, next year."

"I'm sure it will be sooner rather than later Harm," Harriet said patting his arm.

"Well, I hope so because there's so much I want to say to her and…and…" Tears began to fall and Harriet took his hand.

"Harm, Mac will get through this. She has gotten through tough times before and she will again. Look at Bud, he got through his injuries, it just took time and a lot of love. She'll make it." Harm smiled weakly, that had been his prayer since he first got word of her accident.

"Anyway," Harriet said, moving to her bag and producing a white fluffy teddy bear. "AJ wanted me to bring this in for her. It's Francis; the one Mac gave him last year when he had chicken pox." She handed the bear to Harm. "Teddy bears are wonderful companions especially in times of illness or hardship. Maybe you can look after him til Mac wakes up."

"I've never had a teddy before," Harm said quietly.

"Never?"

"Never."

"Yes you did," Mac mumbled.

Harm was on his feet and at her side. "Mac? Mac? Did you say something?"

"You did have a teddy bear," she said in barely a whisper.

"No I didn't."

"Smonkey!"

"Smonkey, Harm?" asked Harriet.

Harm shook his head before the realisation hit him. "I had a toy monkey when I was about three and I took him everywhere. Dad used to tease me and say I was a girl because I had a teddy bear and I'd always respond "it's not bear – it's monkey." That's how it got its name 'Smonkey'."

"You must have told Mac about him," Harriet said, looking back at Mac.

"No, I never did. I'd forgotten all about him." Harm stared down at his sleeping beauty.

"Maybe your mom did," Harriet offered.

"Maybe. Mac? Mac? Can you hear me?" he asked quietly.

Slowly she opened her eyes and looked into his – he was definitely his father's son.

"Hey there Marine, good to see you awake." He whispered and she smiled sleepily.

"How are you doing, Mac?" Harriet asked.

"Okay," she groaned still staring at Harm.

"I might give you two a minute," Harriet said quietly departing.

Harm leant down and kissed her forehead. "I'm so glad you came back, I was so scared I'd lose you."

"You can't get rid of me that easily," she whispered.

"Thank God for that," he kissed her forehead again. "Sarah MacKenzie, do you know how much I love you?"

Mac smiled and wondered if Harm would ever know just how much she loved him, what she had given up, the choice she had made just to be with him. She loved him so much that even the promise of spending eternity together wasn't enough.

A few hours later Mac was awake again, this time more alert. Harm was asleep in the chair, his head resting on his arms on the bed beside her. Mac smiled when she saw Francis tucked into his jacket, only his head poking through.

"Hey Francis, good of you to come," she said to the bear, waking Harm.

"You're awake," he smiled.

"And you're asleep," Mac said, running her hand over his mussed hair.

"Sorry, it's been a long few days," he replied, his relief flooding his very tired face.

"Yeah, I know."

He brushed her hair back from her face.

"I see Francis has found a new home," she said.

"Oh yeah," Harm said pulling him out and handing him to Mac. "AJ sent him in to keep you company."

"That's sweet," she yawned and closed her eyes again.

"Yeah it was. Why don't you get some sleep Mac, I'll still be here when you wake up."

Sleepily she nodded and as she was about to drift off she heard Harm speak.

"Mac, how did you know about Smonkey?" he whispered.

"Your father told me," she said dreamily.

"When did you see my dad?" He asked standing at her side.

"During the surgery."

"Really?"

"Aha," she yawned.

"What else did he say?" Harm asked quietly, his head close to hers.

"He loves …you and he's…proud of…you."

"Why did he come to you?"

"To take me to…Heaven with him," she yawned again.

"But Mac, you didn't go, you're still here."

Wearily Mac opened her eyes. "Come closer," she whispered, he did. Slowly she raised her head and kissed his lips. "You love me – that's Heaven enough for me."

She closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep. The road ahead would be tough but no tougher than the challenges in her life she had already faced and conquered. If anything, this would be easier. This time she had love on her side. She had the man beside her who would never let her go and his father who would protect and guide them until they were all reunited on the other side.


End file.
